"The Others" shows tremendous insight into the world of spirits. When dealing with a haunting, there are no guarantees that you will directly hear or see the dead. Different members of your family may experience different things. Children and sensitives are most likely to report sightings and strange occurences.
There is also no guarantee that the ghost will hear or see you. Most likely, haunting entities will be aware of their death state and recognize you as living (or as an "other"). But some ghosts are so lost to their death state, it is all that they re-live, over and over. Something has to happen to break those chains. In the movie, it was a seance conducted by a medium. But I do not like seances. Like Ouija boards, they exist for a reason and a purpose, but it is like playing with fire.
When Grace is forced to confront what she did in life, the activity in the home immediately calmed down. But only because she was able to accept the truth. It is dangerous to confront spirits. Just as it can be dangerous to confront people. In this respect, the same rules apply. Wait until the right time. Be sure of what you want to say. If possible, get professional help.
I suppose that it is possible for the living and the dead to co-exist peacefully. Just like it is possible for people to co-exist peacefully. But, just because something is possible, or even the best outcome, does not make it so. Unfortunately, life is not a movie. Spirits may become angry or violent when confronted. Therefore, it is best to tread lightly and deal with the problems that are within your power to control.
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