Why Do Hauntings Occur?

Everyone makes mistakes.  And we are all haunted by the consequences of our mistakes.  Mistakes from the past often eclipse the eventualities of the present.  Even if someone does not believe in the paranormal, they will usually admit to being haunted by past mistakes.  We would all do well to listen to the voice in our minds that urges us to stay on the straight and narrow.  But, most often, the drive to give in to our baser selves wins out.

We know when we are endangering ourselves with being haunted by regret.  There is always a moment before you open your mouth and say something truly stupid.  The kind of thing that is impossible to take back.  You know you should have held your tongue, but the damage is done.  The worst mistake may be trusting someone you have been warned is not worthy of your trust.  Only when the rubble of betrayal is beginning to settle do you see why you should have listened.  

 

On a given day, how much time do we spend dealing with the shades of the past rather than expediting plans for the future? How much more are we defined by our wounds rather than our accomplishments? Who among us can actually claim to be free of guilt, trauma, or regret? These are the haunting entities whose existence is not questioned by anyone.  'Unresolved pain made manifest' may be as good a defintion as any for a haunting entity.  

We are all mortal.  Each day the gap between life and death becomes smaller.  Parts of our bodies are always dying.  Some regenerate, some don't.  We embody both life and death.  What is there to fear besides death? All of our negative emotions spring from this fear.  Anger, shame, and regret are all facets of this basic fear.  The more of a foothold these emotions gain over our minds, the more dead we feel.  

There are many people who are more dead than alive.  Haunting entities are drawn to these people like flies to a rotting carcass.  I have stated before that hoarders are prime targets for a haunting.  Hoarders bury themselves alive.  Their lives are dominated by trauma, fear, and static motion.  They do not disengage from the past to pursue the future.  They hold death close while pushing life away.  

People are most susceptible to hauntings when they are:

In mourning

Stressed

Weak

Injured

Traumatized

Mentally unstable

Addicted to drugs or alcohol

Haunting entities are a manifestation of death.  Death is like a lion culling weak or injured antelope from the herd.  In many ways, we are like the antelope.  In terms of hauntings, there is safety in numbers.  The more life is present in a home, the less likely a haunting will get out of control.  People, pets, and plants are good deterrents. 

We are also safer in light than darkness.  Haunting entities cling to the shadows.  The more sunlight and fresh air you can allow into your home, the better off you will be.  On the plains, the antelope cannot always see the lion, but they can sense his presence.  When you start seeing ghosts, there is a problem.  

Haunting entities feed on our fear.  Fear is the open door through which they enter.  Once they enter, it is not easy to get them to leave.  Fear will distract you and cause you to make bad decisions.  As things become worse in your life, a haunting will manifest in increasingly frightening ways.  You will feel hunted and terrified in your own home.  When your home feels unsafe, there is no place to hide, rest, and recover.  Dealing with a haunting is like being lost in a dark, forbidding forest.

Fear and regret reinforce each other.  Regret is the haunting entity that we consciously generate.  Fear traps us.  It keeps us locked in a losing battle for control.  Ghosts are just old regrets looking for a new home.  We may not create ghosts, but they will be drawn to us nonetheless.  Death is always with us.  It exists within and around us.  

It is hard to maintain the strength and resilience necessary to defeat what haunts us.  Dealing with a haunting is the process of embracing life and facing our fears.  Empowering yourself to forgive and be more positive is a good first step to defeating whatever haunts you.  

There are ways to overcome a haunting.  Proper cleansing and maintenance can dispel haunting entities from our lives.  But to do so, we must conquer our fear of the unknown.  We must make peace with our own mortality.  We must let the sunshine in.  We must not become a denizen of the shadows.  In this way, we make ourselves invulnerable to those entities who would feed on our fears like an all-you-can-eat buffet.

A Haunting, Interrupted

Recently, I stayed at a friend's house while she was out of town.  Previously, a warm and welcoming space, the past few months have wrought a distinct change in the environment.  Sickness, worry, and stress are now the dominant themes in her life.  I had previously sensed the development of a haunting, but it has definitely jumped a grade or two.

Some people can read emerging trends in the stock market.  Others can read the weather.  I can read the subtle cues in an environment that betray a haunting.  

Well, big whoop, it does no good when people will not allow you to help.  The very subject is verboten.  Unlike other talents, this is one people will go out of their way to not use to their advantage.  Life must be so much easier for people who know how to drop a beneficial stock tip into the lap of someone they care about.  I could help my friend, but there is no way she would accept what I have to say.  So, I watch from the periphery as a haunting slowly drains the joy from her life.

Hauntings strike the most unlikely of victims.  My friend has a beautiful home.  She is active in the community, well known and respected.  Her home is filled with expensive knick knacks and antiques.  Actually, it is a little too full.  This should have tipped me off earlier, but like everyone else, I was dazzled by her well-organized collections.  That is, until the first time I stayed there.  

Then, I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of things she possessed.  It's one thing to admire someone's things over a casual evening, it is quite another when you have to trip over them on a daily basis.  Finding the simplest things was a major chore.  Nothing is easy to do in that house.  Too many items are competing for every available square inch.

Hoarders and hauntings go together like whiskey and coke.  I had no idea my friend was a hoarder until I saw the garage.  It is huge and half of it is unusable.  The space verily screamed for a garage sale.  

But even that did not prepare me for what I found in the basement.  It was not my place to go down there.  I had asked before and been denied.  But, curiousity got the better of me.  The basement is huge and crammed to the rafters with stuff.  It holds twenty years worth of unresolved energy.  And it took my breath away.  

Every single one of those items is a memory.  Everything anyone possesses takes energy to acquire, to store, to maintain.  Respecting this dynamic means that each item must be acknowledged before being released.  This can be overwhelming, so it is best to go slow.  Prior to releasing items, it helps to take the time to organize similar items into categories.  Regret over hurriedly disposing of possessions will lead to the acquisition of more things in a vain attempt to fill the void.  Truly, "the things you own end up owning you (Fight Club)."

The only positive is that the basement gets a lot of sunlight.  It helps prevent all that energy from going too dark.  But, the basement gets no fresh air.  Therefore, all that energy churns with no place to go.  It feels like a seething vortex.  All that energy had no focal point until recently.  A couple years ago, my friend experienced a devastating tragedy.  She lost someone in a terrible car accident.

And guess what happened to his ashes? They were placed in an engraved box.  The box rests on a cabinet amongst poems and candles.  The house has an open floor plan, so the makeshift shrine sits not five feet from the kitchen.  The kitchen is the beating heart of a home.  It is where friends and family gather to be nourished, both physically and emotionally.  Keeping a death shrine so near the kitchen sends a powerful subconscious message.

The last time I stayed there the refridgerator and both stoves inexplicably went out.  Maybe I shouldn't have gone into the basement, after all.  I certainly paid the price in take out meals. 

When she returned, the appliances were fixed, but the house continually experiences electrical problems.  Lights randomly stop working, then come back.  The loss of power strikes me as a physical metaphor for her emotional state.  She is surrendering to despair.  And it is going to manifest, one way or the other.  

At best, the kitchen barely functions.  The floodlights outside flicker on and off, leaving the impression of vulnerability.  The atmosphere has become heavy, oppressive, joyless.  One room in particular is a focal point.  It had special meaning for the deceased.  The door would open every time I closed it.  Finally, I just left it alone and it stayed put.  There are ways to seal a door, but it is not my home.  

I cannot fight someone else's ghosts.  I wish I could make suggestions, but they would not be heard.  All I could do was make a small gift.  I left my friend a holiday present.  A silver necklace.  In my mind, silver is more valuable than gold.  Given the current price of gold, that probably sounds crazy.  Gold may make you feel good, but silver is spiritually protective.  Silver is to gold as cats are to dogs. 

Speaking of cats and dogs, my friend owns two dogs.  They are big dogs.  Generally, they are quiet and laid back.  One night, I broke one of my own rules.  Well, it's more of a guideline than a rule.  Once again, I ventured into the basement after dark.  I wanted a better gauge for how this haunting is developing.  And I got it.  Usually, I do not disturb the active areas of a home after dark.  That night, the dogs were on edge and barked into the wee hours.  I didn't get much sleep.

Dogs and cats are both attuned to manifestations of spiritual energy.  Dogs may be great at protecting a home from intruders, but they can do nothing about spirits.  The opposite is true of cats. 

I was happy when my time there came to an end.  It gave me more perspective on my own haunting.  After spending a week in a place where an unchecked haunting is developing, I was grateful for my own ghosts.  I had been so busy keeping a lid on my haunting, I did not appreciate how much progress I had made.  The air is lighter.  The house is brighter.  The kitchen functions.  And doors stay closed.

What were they thinking?

We all make mistakes...

Temporary mistakes can last a long time.  Read any tabloid and you'll see mistakes immortalized on film.   Sometimes celebrities try to pass off a few threads as clothing.  Or maybe they settle for passing off tattered couture or clash-tastic outfits as fashion.  Fodder for jest archived forevermore on the internet.  These days, bad choices have staying power.

There is a more permanent variety of bad choices.  I'm talking about tattoos.  Tattoos can be great.  Or they can be awful.  You never really know until the ink settles.  There's a lot of superstition around tattoos.  For example, it's bad luck to get a name tattoo (Mom notwithstanding).  This superstition serves a purpose.  One should probably think long and hard before doing that.

By the same token, it might be a bad idea to let your cousin experiment with his new tattoo machine.  You might want a swallow, but end up with a mottled roach.  

Thankfully, if you can afford it, there is laser removal.  You'll always wear the scar, but at least there's an option when your waterfall tattoo begins to collapse.

Mollifying the mistakes of the past is a good thing.  We need to allow them to drift away into memory.  Really large, uncoverable tattoos represent a life choice.  Sometimes you get the Sistine Chapel.  Sometimes you get a Ouija board.  Not hyperbole.  

Somewhere out there a walking, talking portal is just waiting to be unlocked.  The implications make my head hurt.  

Maybe it won't work.  Or maybe it will.  Perhaps it was just an uninformed, irresponsible (unethical, even?) choice.  Consider the time and money it took to get that done.  It would have been cheaper to bling out a sign.Evil.

But with a pirate's chest worth of treasure even that could be undone.  Maybe.

However, treasure can't undo everything, which brings me to memorial tattoos.  Or catnip for shadow people.  Never heard of them? Basically, it is a new trend of having human remains mixed into tattoo ink.  Sound gruesome? I thought so.  

Apparently, cremated ashes are produced by either a slow burn or a long burn.  A slow burn produces ash with chunks of bone.  Long burns produce a quality of calcified ash similar to cigarette ash.   The ash can then can be re-heated and mixed with ink by a tattoo artist.  

This gives me the creeps, but it gets worse.  Cremated ash contains calcium and other impurities.  From what I understand, the rejection rates for regular ink tattoos are pretty low.  But the rejection rates for memorial tattoos are potentially much higher.  Worse yet, there is a risk that human remains may contain traces from other cremated ashes.  Yikes!

And if that is not grim enough, I do not know if they can be removed.  It is an emergent trend.  The long-term issues are unknown.  The exact rates of infection are undetermined.  How do you remove pure death permanently imprinted? I imagine the epidermis would absorb additional calcium deposits if it did not reject them outright.  But who knows? I hope somewhere a brilliant doctor will pioneer the removal procedure. 

How is it that we have gone so far astray? How could such a trend gain footing? Sometimes I wonder if our compulsion for instant gratification has not spawned a pathological inability to let go.  Have we not been told that the spiritual has real life implications?  

For a little perspective, consider that the ancient Romans would not bury their dead within the city walls.  Instead, graves lined the Via Appia.  The dead were inhumed (buried) or cremated.  Cremated remains did not reside within dwellings either.  They were entombed.  It was also customary to place Charon's obol on the mouth of the deceased.  A final gift to pay the boatman for safe passage to the underworld.  

The wealthy did it differently.  Noble families would have wax death masks made of the deceased.  This was also common practice among the ancient Egyptians and Etruscans.  These death masks would be placed in the atrium (sanctuary) of the home.  And a candle would illuminate the mask at night.  While macabre, this practice was the nearest thing to a photograph in the ancient world.  It was a safe and honorable rememberance.

Tattooing was also a common practice in the ancient world, but memorial tattoos would have been considered barbaric.  Have we actually embraced a practice that the ancient Romans would have rejected as savage? It makes you think.

I'm not saying that we should emulate ancient Roman society.  It was a dirty, vicious, hard world.  And Rome was rife with curses and black magic.  But their civilization lasted a thousand years.  They did some things right.

George Iles said, "Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." I hope this trend fades into shadow.  Death is a part of life.  Our relationship with death is a broken thing.  Despite what we may believe, we have not abandoned ourselves to whimsical phantasmagoria.  Our cavalier attitudes are rapidly devolving into the grotesque.  I hope we re-think these issues before more damage is done.  The soul dies a slow death.

In memoriam for innocence lost.

Signs...

Recently, my cat brought me a wounded finch.  He showed up with it at a very inopportune moment.  At first, I thought it was a mouse.  Yes, my poor cat is so lonely for other pets, he will bring in half-dead animals from outside just to have something to play with.  Sometimes, I think we humans have nothing on animals when it comes to the macabre.  

But anyway, the poor thing could no longer fly and it proceeded to flutter bleeding through the kitchen into the living room and under the couch.  For reasons unknown, it then came out from under the couch, so my cat could corner it.  At this point, I had my gloves on and I was able to grab it up.

The poor little thing broke my heart.  Terrified and beyond help.  I took him outside and put him in some leaves below a tree. I tried to interest him in the birdhouse, but he hopped away into the leaves.  Later, my cat brought the same bird in.  His neck was broken.  There had been deer in that part of the yard, so I'm guessing he got trampled.  Sad, sad story.

I don't know what more I could have done.  Probably something obvious that I'm just missing.

So what does it mean? Maybe nothing.  Or maybe it was a sign.  Symbolically, finches are associated with happiness and freedom.  And what do I take from this? Something is about to fall away.  But the symbols are mixed given the timing and circumstances.  Honestly, it is hard for me to be objective.  I will just have to be patient.  And wait for a clearer sign.  

But patience is not my long suit, so I looked at my week as a whole.  Any predominant themes in the ennui of humdrum that characterizes my life these days? Yeah.  This week I made a true and concerted effort to forgive those who have wronged me.  I put it in writing.  There lies my truth.  Forgiveness in general has been the theme: for myself, for others.  I want to stop hurting over things I cannot change. 

And this was the sign I received.  Maybe I'm doing something wrong.  More eye of newt, perhaps? My life is not perfect.  I struggle with my own personal array of demons.  But I am lucky.  I know how to deal with a haunting.

It was not the only sign this week.  The very next day, someone showed me a key retrieved from a car accident.  The car had gone up in flames.  Luckily, no one was hurt.  The key was all that was recovered intact from the contents of the car.  It was a house key.  My first thought was that it was a powerful sign of the strength and love in that home.  But it was burned black.  That is dangerous.  The fire had come close to home.  Definitely a time for vigilance.  Again, mixed symbols.  If it were me, I would bury the key.  I would bury it on the property, but I would not keep it with or on me.

Sometimes all you can do is acknowledge the message.  Then, turn inward and take inventory.  Because who knows how long the wait will be.  Try to do right by the messenger.  But do not keep mixed signs close or on your person.  Save that place for purely positive signs.

Tonight I found my mug fractured.  Still whole, but unusable.  It was one of a pair of honeymoon mugs.  That was a fun trip!  Granted, they were not real expensive, but I was really upset.  What could it mean? Maybe that it got jostled around with the other dishes and broke.   Maybe it means that I got injured and something had to give.  Maybe it means that I have forgotten how to have fun.  There is so much chaos swirling around me now.  I partially blame this blog.  Sometimes it is easier to leave things shrouded in mist.  I just have no idea what to do with that mug.  I can't stand to throw it away.   This is how hoarding begins, I'm sure of it.  Maybe I should take my own advice and not keep a mixed sign in my home.

Don't Gamble With Ghosts

It is time for another HOW TO DEAL WITH A HAUNTING movie review.

I just re-watched the 1990 Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore paranormal extravaganza "Ghost."  It was kinda fun to see a young Demi and (dearly departed) Swayze.  No pun intended.  However, I thought I was going to be suffering for almost three hours in the name of blog fodder.  Then, twenty minutes in, Whoopi Goldberg appeared with her uncanny ability to save even the worst movie from itself.  

I hung in there.  Soon, I was surprised to see that this movie had salient points to make about the paranormal (in a loveable, over the top kind of way).  In the course of this movie, we watch the ghost of Sam Wheat (Swayze) develop from a shocked, novice shade to a powerful haunting entity.  Sam Wheat acts in order to protect the love of his life, Molly.  But he inflicts a very different kind of haunting upon his enemies.  It is a classic unfinished business/revenge haunting.  

There are many types of hauntings in this movie, which brings me to the Train Ghost.  I can't believe I forgot all about him.  Probably because he is a little too spookily real.  The Train Ghost is trapped in his death state, but he's been around so long he has grown powerful.  He's a deeply confused and possessive haunting entity.  The first time we see him, he's sucking the breath out of some poor sap reading the paper on the subway.  Sage would do nicely for the Train Ghost.  It would slow him down a bit.

Luckily, nothing could slow down Whoopi Goldberg's portrayal of Oda Mae Brown, fake psychic turned real.  Honestly, I think she liked her life better before her thoughts were crowded by ghosts.  Oda Mae's story arc is fun, but also substantial.  It shows that once she could hear one ghost, she could hear them all.  The same goes for people who can see beyond the physical plane.  That's where most of us are.  We only sense the physical plane.  A few see more and we call it a gift.  But once you see, you cannot unsee.  It makes everything harder.  

There were a few disturbing elements in this movie as well.  While exploring her newfound abilities, Oda Mae Brown opens herself for possession.  The first time it happens, it is an accident.  Afterwards, she feels as if she is covered in sludge.  But later, she purposefully offers herself up to Sam Wheat.  This mistake looms large in my mind.  There are people who do this.  Either as a gag or with the hope of an otherworldly experience.  Never do this.  Guard your body.  Be vigilant with your soul.  Do not gamble with ghosts.  Never offer a haunting entity anything.  Not your Ipod, not your pets, not your body.

Another disturbing element was the fate of Sam's enemies.  The bad guys' transition to the otherworld was not a smooth one.  To say the least.  Violently, they are whisked away by a spectral police force.  These entities can only be described as shadow people.  Usually, I do not like to think, talk, or write about shadow people.  I was just shocked to see them represented as accurately as they were.  

But since I have started down this road, I will explain.  Shadow people are negative energy made manifest.  Black mist entities; they are more powerful than ghosts.  Different from poltergeists, the two entities often co-occur.   

More on poltergeists later...

Shadow people are extremely dangerous.  Over time, they can do very real damage.  They are not demons, but not far off.  Demons can kill, shadow people can slowly strangle the life out of a situation.  If you have problems with this kind of entity in your home, then move.  That is the deal.  Move and pray they don't follow.  Pray that their connection is to the property and not you.  If they do follow, call a priest or a find a shaman.

Anyway, I don't want to end this post with the negative and scary.  I enjoyed watching "Ghost" again.  It was fun and campy.  I was also pleasantly surprised by how they painted the paranomal.  Whimsical, yet sometimes scary.  But only if you believe in that sort of nonsense.

Mirrors Have Memories

Mirror, mirror on the wall, oh what tales you have to tell...

In ancient times, seeing your reflection was considered powerful magic.  Then again, ancient man was pretty well limited to what they could make out in a clear, still pond.  And while it may not be magic, I imagine if I had only seen my reflection a handful of times during my life that I would think it was a pretty big deal too.  In primitive times, people concerned themselves a great deal with magic.  You couldn't stub your toe without having to think about what god you had inadvertently offended.  

By the time of the Romans (especially in the days of the early Republic), things hadn't improved much.  Certainly logic had begun to eclipse superstition.  People were no longer confused and scared by the idea of a reflection.  But the privilege of being able to gaze upon oneself on a daily basis was reserved for those who could afford it.  Most mirrors of this time were made of highly burnished metal, which did not cast a very accurate refection.  One could probably have gone their whole life without seeing what others saw.  Think about that.  It's hard to imagine.

The Romans also gave us one of the most enduring superstitions about mirrors: the seven year curse.  The Romans believed that there was a powerful connection between mirrors and spirits.  If you broke a mirror, then the soul trapped within it also died.  It was not a permanent curse because the Romans believed the soul regenerated every seven years.  Luckily, this curse could be mollified by burying the pieces deep in the earth.  Curses were common business for the Romans, so they figured out some bad luck loopholes.

There are many other superstitions that revolve around mirrors.  For example, if a mirror falls from a wall it is supposed to mean that someone will die.  Also, it is customary for mirrors to be covered in the event of a death, so that the soul of the deceased does not become trapped in a mirror.  It seems there have always been strong correlations between mirrors, misfortune, and death.  

Reflections and mirrors hold a powerful fascination for the human psyche.  What do we see when we see ourselves? How do others see us? What do we want to see? How much of our self image is dependent upon what we see in a shiny piece of glass? 

Mirrors also have a role to play in myths and fairy tales.  They are archetypal.  Mythology warns us against the dangers of reflections.  Apparently, Adonis would have snorted his reflection if he could.  Fairytales also tell us that mirrors can be evil.  And that they can turn on you.  Remember the Queen in Snow White? I can relate to her plight whenever I see a new wrinkle or grey hair.  

But the Queen was not the only one to utilize the magical properties of mirrors.  Practitioners of magic have long used mirrors (or crystal balls) for scrying.  There are also party games (e.g. Bloody Mary) where people try to get a thrill by calling forth an evil spirit from a mirror.  For me, this is akin to playing with Ouija boards.  It should not be done.  It is not a game.  It is dangerous to try to call forth entities from the spirit world.  Generally, it is not "good" spirits who are looking for a way back in.

This all boils down to the idea that mirrors can be repositories for wandering spirits.  And while this may or may not be so, it is worth considering that mirrors are powerful repositories for memories.  Not because there are gnomes living in the mirror.  It is because each time you have ever looked at your reflection, it made an impression.  Somewhere in your psyche is a stored memory folder called Reflections.  It's probably buried somewhere in that 95% we don't actively use, but it's there.  All those stored memories combine to help form perception of self.

But what does this have to do with hauntings?

If you move, it is a good idea to leave the mirrors behind.  If the house was haunted, there is a chance the haunting entity can become trapped in the mirror and move right along with you to your new home. But even if that does not happen, some part of you will recognize all that fear and trauma in the reflection of the old mirror.  Likewise, if the house was a place where physical or emotional trauma occurred, it is better to the leave the mirrors behind.  

If the home was a happy one, I still recommend buying new mirrors for a new home.  It is part of making a fresh start in a new place.  The memories will always be with you, but you will be able to see yourself in a new light.

"The Others": A Review

If there is one movie that proves there is no playbook when it comes to hauntings, it is "The Others."

"The Others" shows tremendous insight into the world of spirits.  When dealing with a haunting, there are no guarantees that you will directly hear or see the dead.  Different members of your family may experience different things.  Children and sensitives are most likely to report sightings and strange occurences.  

There is also no guarantee that the ghost will hear or see you.  Most likely, haunting entities will be aware of their death state and recognize you as living (or as an "other").  But some ghosts are so lost to their death state, it is all that they re-live, over and over.  Something has to happen to break those chains.  In the movie, it was a seance conducted by a medium.  But I do not like seances.  Like Ouija boards, they exist for a reason and a purpose, but it is like playing with fire.  

When Grace is forced to confront what she did in life, the activity in the home immediately calmed down.  But only because she was able to accept the truth.  It is dangerous to confront spirits.  Just as it can be dangerous to confront people.  In this respect, the same rules apply.  Wait until the right time.  Be sure of what you want to say.  If possible, get professional help.

I suppose that it is possible for the living and the dead to co-exist peacefully.  Just like it is possible for people to co-exist peacefully.  But, just because something is possible, or even the best outcome, does not make it so.  Unfortunately, life is not a movie.  Spirits may become angry or violent when confronted.  Therefore, it is best to tread lightly and deal with the problems that are within your power to control.

The Day is for the Living...

The night is for the dead.

This is an important rule to remember.  It is too bad that Michael in Paranormal Witness's "The House on the Lake" had no idea how important this rule could be.  This was Big Mistake #2.  

Though seldom heeded, this old creed is sound in its wisdom.  Just like it is best to deal with hard business early, so it is when dealing with a haunting.  Or trying to prevent a haunting from getting a real foothold.  Make your changes, do your cleaning, take care of what chores you can during the day.  Allow the house to settle at night.

If you are living in a house that you have occupied for a while, this rule may not be so hard and fast.  Especially if you are not being disturbed by signs of a haunting.  However, don't be surprised if your evenings become much more peaceful as a result.  It is a difficult rule to manage in this modern age when there are seldom enough hours in the day.  But it is a goal worth pursuing.

Whatever you do, don't buy an ancient home and wait until night falls to start hammering away.  This is no way to introduce yourself.  If there are haunting entities, there is no better way to annouce yourself as a hostile presence.  Your new neighbors will probably not thank you either.  Be a good neighbor.  Conduct your business during waking hours.  

Why Fresh Air is so Crucial...

Fresh air is essential to neutralizing negative influences in your environment.  If there is no air movement, it will be impossible to keep a lid on the tensions and pressures brewing around you.  In feng shui, this energy is referred to as Chi.  Chi is the flow of energy around you.  This energy can carry a charge, either positive or negative.  It is not possible to maintain a good quality of life without a positive flow of chi.

Have you ever been involved in an argument that stretched out slowly over months? The kind punctuated only by the occassional skirmish where new lines are drawn before the Cold War resumes? Guess what kind of charge that energy carries.  Often the pressure will build until one of you explodes, usually at a ridiculous hour of the night or morning.  Then, nobody gets any sleep.

Feng shui is filled with many ideas about how to stop this negative cycle.  But one of the best is allowing fresh air into the environment.  This simple act will improve the flow of chi around you.  Of course, there is a balance to be struck between fresh air and bills.  It is important to find this balance.  In the dead of winter, get outside and fill your lungs with crisp, cold air.  Shovel snow or tromp around the block in your warm boots.  Enjoy the winter wonderland.  You will feel better about whatever is bothering you.

In the summer, open the windows at night and early in the morning.  If you are running the air conditioning 24/7, understand that this is expensive and unhealthy.  Sometimes, we have to adapt, rather than paying to adjust the environment to our needs.  Find the balance.  Search for a place to live where you are comfortable.  Air conditioning unnaturally compresses and freezes air flow.  It does for air what nuggets do for chicken.  Besides, ghosts love air conditioning.

The study of Chi indicates that the flow of energy is like the ebb and flow of the ocean.  If you can channel this energy, then your life will be blessed with good health, wealth, and love.  

When you restrict the flow of chi, you are restricting the good around you.  Homes that are cluttered feel stuffy and oppressive.  Taken to an extreme, it may result in a living hell of hoarded objects, dead air, and emotional turbulence.  A perfect storm for a haunting to manifest.    

The easiest element to deal with is dead air.  Give in to your id and crack open those windows.  Let the wind blow.  Let the storm thunder.  Breathe deep and walk around barefoot when its warm.  Pull on a sweater and drink hot chocolate when it turns cold.  Take a moment to be grateful for the beauty of summer.  And the deep peace of winter.  It is your home.  It deserves to be a true haven for you.

Knock, knock...

Nobody's there.

Happy Friday the 13th!

When dealing with a haunting, one of the most common occurences is hearing something knock, bang, pound on a door.  If you are ever unlucky enough to experience this, it may be difficult to resist the urge to swing open the door and confront whatever might be on the other side.  Brave, yes.  Admirable, sure.  Foolish, absolutely.

Haunting entities who are bent on taking over your house (and, most likely, you) are looking for ways in.  Opening the door signifies that you are available to the haunting entity.  I know it does not seem fair, but it is what it is.

Haunting entities want acknowledgment.  It empowers them.  In essence, you are saying, "Yes, come on in."  And that's not a good idea.

It is natural for us to satisfy our curiousity.  Whatever could be knocking? Something is in my house! But, it is a mistake.  And while it may be a noble pursuit to confront your personal demons, there is no prize for walking on quaking legs to lay your shaking hand upon that doorknob.  Nor to stride purposefully towards the sound of the disturbance, fairly ripping the door off its hinges to do battle come what may.  The result will be the same.  You have given permission to the haunting entity to enter your space.

At this point, you will probably experience a dramatic uptick in the activity.  Physically, you can probably count on dwindling finances, breathtaking mood swings, relationship problems, and the onset of health troubles.  On the haunting front, anything goes.  

Living with a haunting is like living in a prison.  You may feel exhausted.  It will be hard to share your troubles with others.  You may feel isolated.  You may feel that you are rushing about in slow motion.  Everything seems dark.  Fear may imbue your life with an eerie quality.  Never knowing what is coming next.  Always waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Regardless of knocks, if you recognize these symptoms, then you are being haunted.  Either in your mind or in your home.

Not opening the door may not stop all this, but continued refusal to cede your ground will tip the scales in your favor, especially when the time comes to really deal with the problem.  So, it is better to wait out the knocks.  No matter how loud they get or how scared you are, they will stop.  This may not stop the haunting entity from entering anyway, but you have stood your ground.  

Leaving the space by any available avenue is also preferable to opening the door.  But, beware, the haunting entity may follow and resume its campaign.  It takes courage to hold your space.

If you have trouble with slamming doors, a similar rule applies.  Do not rush to investigate and throw the door open.  Again, this is an acknowledgement.  Instead, let the moment pass.  And, the next time you come across the door in question, casually re-open it, and then go about your business.  Remember, it is your home.  You have the final say over what doors stay open and which ones remain closed.

"The Lynchville Secret"

In many ways, this episode of Paranormal Witness exemplified both the best and worst choices that people can make when they are faced with a very strong haunting entity.

The best thing this family did was go and get some answers about the history of the property.  It is always better to know what you are dealing with.  The library and local historians (or authors) are great resources for gathering information.

The worst thing the family did was call a local paranormal team.  Local paranormal teams are usually really good at stirring things up, but not so much at quieting a situation down.  When someone is dealing with a haunting entity they need less intensity, not more.

In this case, the paranormal team suggested trying to record the ghosts.  If answers are what you want, this is possibly the worst way to get them.  Actually, seances may be worst of all.  In either case, I do not recommend ever directly acknowledging a haunting entity unless you are ready to confront it.  Go to the library for answers.  No scratchy ghost recording is ever going to be as thorough or reliable as a local history book.

There are a lot of quacks and thrill seekers out there.  Don't let someone come in and make things worse for their own ends.   One good rule of thumb is to avoid anyone who suggests putting you in direct contact with the haunting entity.  Genuine investigators or mediums will try to limit your exposure to the haunting entity.  Most will also limit their interactions with you so as not to bias their results.  

Ashes to ashes...

Recently, I lost someone whom I loved very much.  And while this hole in my heart may never be filled, I find myself wishing that I could find some closure.  I think of the lake where the deceased wanted her ashes spread.  I also think of the words I would choose to say my final goodbye. 

I find it upsetting that my loved one is still awaiting a true burial.  I also find it disturbing to have to face the pretty jar that holds her remains whenever I visit her former home.  It pollutes the air with a sense of unresolved loss.

Unfortunately, I do not control the ashes.  The person who does possess them has chosen to wait.

But what on earth does this have to do with hauntings?

Simple.  Ashes are bad juju.  They have nothing to do with the person you lost.  At best, when you lose someone, you have your memories.  Maybe you also have a few souvenirs from the good times you shared.  That's it.  That's all anyone gets.  Hanging on to their charred remains does not do anyone any good; not the deceased, and not you.

What is this hang-up we have? And why is it condoned? It is not proof of undying love.  Instead, it is a powerful expression of a psyche that is unwilling to let go.  Burial is important.  It grants closure, a chance to accept the finality of what has happened.  Willfully refusing to bury the dead is not healthy behavior.

Historically, societies have understood the importance of separating the dead from the living.  Some cultures, such as the Egyptians, embalmed the deceased, but then they stored the bodies far away from the living.  The dead were laid to rest in Cairo Necropolis, the City of the Dead.  Burial, cremation, embalming, etc. have been important methods to not only protect the physical health of the living, but also their mental health.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust...

Not ash to urn, urn to mantel.  When we hold on to what is essentially death in a jar, we are refusing to let go of a loved one.  We must let go, so that the spirit is free to move on.  And so that we may also be free.  There is nothing new in any of this, except maybe our willingness to honor the cycle.

Ashes are potent conductors of spiritual energy.  Holding on to ashes may not guarantee a haunting, but it certainly will not help.  Maybe this is why people do it.  Perhaps they wish to be haunted by the spirit of a loved one.  They may believe that it's the only way to keep a piece of that person in their lives.  

I say hold fast to your memories, especially the good ones.  Hauntings are not positive events, even if it is the ghost of a loved one.  Hauntings should never be encouraged, regardless of the reasons.  It is not fair to the living or the deceased.  Aesop said, "We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified."  And so it is.

It is important to know that the cremation of human and animal remains does not result in benign, soft ash.  Instead, it is a heavy, oily, viscous substance.  It is unpleasant to deal with, but deal with it, you must.

I also do not recommend splitting the ashes between two or three locations.  Would you do this to a body about to be buried? Of course not.  Pick a place that everyone involved can live with (this may require some discussion and compromise) and just do it.  You remember your loved one as a whole person, so bury them as one.  

After my recent loss, it was suggested to me that I should consider a new trend.  Apparently, you can now split ashes and have them fired into crystals, which you can then wear as jewelry.  I was dumbstruck.  I had no idea what to say.  Please do not consider this.  It is not an act of love.  Would you wear a dismembered hand as a rememberance (Jaime Lannister notwithstanding)? This action will have a catalyzing effect on your inability to let go and the spiritual energy contained therein.  Remember the old adage: If you love something, let it go.

I say again, ashes are bad juju.  Breathe deep and let go.  Say goodbye for real.  It is the only way to heal.  Look to the seahorses.  "With every dawn, when first light penetrates the sea, many seahorse colonies perform a dance to the sun (Rob Brezsny, 'Pronoia')."  Do not wallow in the darkness of death.  Celebrate life.  

It's not a chocolate bar, so don't chase it into a closet...

I don't know how many times I have watched TV dramatizations of hauntings where people try to chase down the source of the footsteps, knocks, what have you.

Don't do this! And never, ever pick up a weapon to aid in your pursuit.  Guns and money may (unfortunately) be the most expedient tools for doing business in the real world, but those rules cease to apply when dealing with the spirit realm.  Well, one truism transcends both planes: violence only begets more violence.  

Save the knives for burglars who accidently fall through your skylight, break their leg, and sue you for damages.

If you hear knocks, ignore them.  Pick up a magazine, clean something, or just leave the room.  Don't panic and run.  Running away is almost as bad as chasing.

No doubt, you will be tempted to discuss this with the first available family member who cuts in front of you on your way to the bathroom.  It is fine to discuss any incidents and you probably should, but have that conversation when you are out of the house.

But, why all the rules? After all, these are perfectly understandable responses to unexplained activity in your home.  

The reason is simple.  Ghosts want your attention.  They want you to acknowledge them.  Doing so allows them to feed more off your energy.  Chasing, running away, being visibly panicked are all reactions that tell haunting entities that they have the power to manipulate your actions.  In this way, haunting entities are like schoolyard bullies.

Don't do it.  Remember, it is your home.  You have the power.  

A good reason to love Paranormal Witness...

If you know what to look for, then Paranormal Witness is great fodder for a blog like this...

I'm going to start with a recent episode, "The House on the Lake," which showcased the plight of a real estate developer, Michael.  In the opening minutes I feel inclined to root for the ghosts, but he doesn't seem all bad.  Besides, not even the most nefarious real estate developers deserve a bad haunting.

Anyway, the story begins with Michael buying a beautiful, but rundown, mansion by a lake in New York state.  In order to cut costs, he decides to live in his newly acquired property while doing all the renovations himself (kudos.  I can barely swing a hammer!).  The first thing Michael finds is an unused third floor full of leftover memories.  In other words, a bunch of useless items that have been moldering in the lonely ethos of that house forever.

Michael decides that hauling all that crap out of the attic is too daunting of an enterprise. Therefore, he chooses to go ahead and move himself in before dealing with it.  Mistake # 1.

But, he doesn't stop there.  Michael is so anxious to begin turning the house into a successful apartment building, he starts renovating the very night he moves in.  Big Mistake #2. Personally, I believe that this was an anxious reaction to a screaming subconscious, but more on that later.

Well, big shock, this is when the activity goes from simmer to boil.

To be continued...